Category Archives: Goals

My 3 Biggest Business Mistakes by DeAnna Burghart

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DeAnna-close cropStarting a business isn’t easy. I’ve done it three times now – twice as a sole proprietor, and once as a founding member of the ProjectConnections team. The process is fraught with tension, loaded with exciting opportunities, and rife with chances to make mistakes. Thank goodness! How else would we ever learn what works and what doesn’t?

I can’t claim these are the only three mistakes I’ve made in business. (I’ve made more than that since my first cup of coffee this morning!) But these are the three biggest mistakes I think I’ve made in any of those business start-ups. How many of them are you guilty of?

Mistake #1: Analysis Paralysis. I’m good at research. Really, really good. I actually research things for fun. That makes research a very safe place to run away to when I’m not quite sure what to do next. You get conflicting opinions, really smart people are telling you to make a variety of different choices, and you aren’t quite sure which one feels right. Research it!

To. Death.

Sometimes, we feel so insecure in our own judgment and experience that we spend weeks or even months longer than we should on “getting a little more market intelligence” or whatever we want to call our stalling. It’s the start-up equivalent of forming a committee to investigate options. Used properly, research is absolutely essential to success. Used excessively it will yield even more confusion and insecurity, not to mention lost opportunities because your competitors were out there doing things you were just reading about.

Lesson: When your research stops turning up new insights and information, stop! Adding one more voice to the “me too” stack isn’t going to tell you how you feel about the information you’ve uncovered. You won’t be able to take successful steps forward until you understand that critical piece of information, and you won’t find it in anyone else’s books or blogs. You’ll only find it by being honest with yourself about what you’ve uncovered.

Mistake #2: Not Speaking Up. In my adventures in the business world, I’ve frequently enjoyed the luxury of being in a room full of really smart people. I know just how fortunate this makes me, and I revel in it. But there’s a danger as well. When you’re in a room with that many smart people on a regular basis, it’s easy to be a little intimidated by them. And from there, it’s a small step to suppress your own misgivings when everyone else seems so sure of themselves. There’s a powerful temptation to “go along,” and by doing so to seem wise and well informed. This is understandable.

It is also a mistake. Stifling that little voice, or that feeling in my gut, has cost me precious time, money, effort, and opportunities. No one can see everything, so if one person is holding back, the group is missing valuable information – even if the person holding back is you.

Lesson: That little voice in your ear, or that feeling in your gut, knows more than you give it credit for. I’ve learned to listen and to speak up when it’s bugging me. I’m not always right, of course. Sometimes I just need to hear others address my concerns, and the feeling goes away. But it pays to speak up, even when you don’t have the final say.

Mistake #3: Not Listening. This is the flip side of #2, and it’s an easy and dangerous trap. I usually find myself falling into this mode when I’ve finished a few rounds of “I told you so” in my head. Those whom the gods would destroy, they first make proud. Stopping to really listen – to my CEO, my colleagues, my customers, my competitor’s customers – has opened doors that would have remained forever closed if I’d focused on speaking (or worse, on selling).

Lesson: Listen when people talk to you. Don’t spend the time running a script in your head of what you’re going to say in response – you’re throwing away valuable input and connections with others when you shut off like that. Open up, sit back, and really listen to what’s being said. Listen like your business depends on it. It probably does. And note that this is probably a good step to take both before and after speaking your mind.

You may have noticed that all three of these items – communication, intuition, connection – all relate to the so-called “soft skills” (they aren’t necessarily) that women are supposedly so good at (we aren’t necessarily). But as dicey as generalizations can be, I think women who end up in entrepreneurial spaces are often more driven and perfectionistic – and thus more inclined to these particular flaws. Or maybe these flaws are just more visible and damaging in the entrepreneurial space. Either way, they’re mistakes worth looking out for. I continually remind myself to listen to others, speak up about my doubts, and above all to do something! No one was ever successful in business by doing nothing at all.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

DeAnna Burghart is content editor at ProjectConnections.com. Prior to joining the founding team in 1999, she was a successful software training consultant, and helped launch a web design and SEO firm.

Leaders Make the Future by Sue Lebeck

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images (2)(Originally posted at Sue Lebecks’s blog on www.innovatingsmart.org, May 24, 2011)

Great title, yes?  It’s not mine!  This title and the inspiring book behind it belong to Bob Johansen, Distinguished Fellow at the Institute for the Future.  The full title, published in 2009, is Leaders Make the Future: Ten New Leadership Skills for an Uncertain World.  Thought you’d read all the leadership books you’ll ever need?   Think again.

As Bob expresses in his opening lines:

“We are entering a threshold decade…  [a VUCA world of Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity.] Self-interest will not be enough: leaders will need to broaden their concept of self to include the larger systems of which they are a part… Traditional business leadership mandates won’t be enough.  Leaders must… embrace the shared assets and opportunities around them… This will be a very tough decade to be a leader, but it will also be a very exciting and meaningful time to lead, with the right set of skills and appropriate expectations.”

So, what are those new leadership skills for an uncertain world?

Today’s SMART innovation story, which is a visual revisit of the inspiring tale of Serious Materials (check out the just-completed video) includes evidence of several of these new essential leadership skills.  For example, the maker instinct is alive and well in Kevin Surace’s story.  Redirecting his Silicon Valley high tech experience and skills in the direction of clean tech, Kevin has gotten serious about becoming a Maker, developing products to help re-create the built environment.  The skill of clarity enabled him to see beyond the common and critical problems of fuels and transportation to focus on this much larger problem of buildings and materials.  An immersive learning ability has made him a quick study for the possibilities present, and an apparent adeptness for rapid prototyping and experimentation has enabled him and his team to realize many of those possibilities already.

In addition to these four potent skills, Bob’s book identifies the need for six other critical skills, and articulates them in fresh and clear language.   Key among these is dilemma flipping, the “ability to turn dilemmas — which, unlike problems, cannot be solved — into advantages and opportunities”.  The Institute for the Future’s Ten-Year Forecast (found on the inside cover of the book) reveals dilemmas everywhere.  Dilemmas lurk amidst competing social diasporas,  terrorism-redefined warfare, and the uber-expectations of baby-boomers (especially when juxtasuposed with the challenges posed by sustainability goals).   Dealing with these dilemmas will require the ability to “remake” a situation — “reimagining and making again.”

Close behind dilemma flipping, also fresh and important is the skill of bio-empathy —  the “ability to see things from nature’s point of view”.   “Bio-empathy is about seeing human activity as nested within envrionmental stability and vice versa.”  This necessary modern skill is applied, nurtured and propagated as a design and engineering lens through the further leadership of Janine Benyus and the Biomimicry Guild and Institute she has built.

Constructive depolarizing and quiet transparency round out a 21st century leader’s artfulness kit — moving minds and building trust along the way.  Finally, smart mob organizing and commons creating are among today’s power tools, helping leaders to engender their leadership principles at scale.

Leaders make the future indeed.  How are you a leader?  What is the future you are making?  We would love to hear your story.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Sue Lebeck is an innovation management specialist working to advance smart, sustainability-driven systems. A researcher, product management and development specialist and innovation manager, Sue brings her diverse background in software, psychology, media and collaboration to the work of sustainability innovation.

Through the GotSMART? suite of services, Sue offers internal research and communications services to her clients’ leadership and marketing functions; assists initiative leaders in mapping their sustainability-driven stakeholder needs to technology requirements; and facilitates the implementation process.  With GotSMART? smart leaders get the extra support they need.

The One Thing Preventing You from Having Your BIG Hairy Audacious DREAM by Randy Peyser

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RandyPeyserphotoYou know that one big hairy audacious dream you’ve been wanting to create since forever? That big mission you were meant to do in this lifetime? The success that other people seem to have that hasn’t yet waltzed into your life – no matter how long or how hard you’ve tried to create it? Yeah, that’s the dream I’m talking about.

If you are feeling discouraged or frustrated because other people seem to have all the magic happening for them, and no rabbit is jumping out of a hat for you, there might just be one teensy weensy thing that is preventing you from “having it all”.

Before you decide to spend the rest of your life making nests out of pencil shavings, I encourage you to try the following game with your friends. It just might bring you closer to your dream!

Here’s the game…

Pretend you are a dragon. You are guarding a treasure – in this case, let’s make it a shoe that is lying on the ground between your legs. Let your friends surround you in a circle. The object of this game is for one of your friends to grab that shoe. As you hover over the shoe, you can tag anyone who tries to snatch it. Any of your sneaky friends who you tag is instantly frozen in place. The winner is the one who can steal the “treasure”…um, shoe. The winner now becomes the next dragon and the game starts all over again. (This game is called, Smaug’s Jewels. It comes from the now-defunct, New Games Foundation.)

So, why am I having you play a game like this? I’ll tell you why…

One of the best life lessons I ever experienced came as a result of the day I first played this game. I positioned myself in the circle of children and adults. No matter the age or the size of the dragon, there seemed to be one little seven-year-old, who consistently emerged with that shoe in his hand. But how did he do it?

I wanted to understand how it was that, no matter the size of the dragon, the positioning of his opponents, or the quickness of anyone’s reflexes, this one boy kept coming up the winner. So, I decided to sit out the next game and observe his actions.

As I watched this child for a few games, the answer became clear. So I stepped back into the game again and copied what I’d observed – and the next two games, the shoe ended up in my hands!

The Secret to the Shoe Grabber’s Success

When the boy lunged for that shoe, here’s what I observed: He moved from stillness to lunging in one clean swoop. He held nothing back. Every bit of him went into that movement. As he made his move, there was no hesitation, no split second or afterthought before he lunged.

This seven-year-old taught me about what I’ve come to call, “The Hiccup of Hesitation,” which is that split second in which we have an opportunity to move forward and stretch beyond our comfort zone, but where we usually hesitate for even a micro-millisecond, or some other really, really small measure of time, because underneath it all, we are too afraid to create what it is we say we want or possess too many doubts that it will actually happen.

Here’s a great example: I wanted to be on Oprah, but underneath it all I was terrified of being in her presence. Oops! A hiccup. Meanwhile, Oprah didn’t call me. (P.S. I am not afraid to be on Ellen, so Ellen, you can call me!)

Here’s another example, let’s say you want to be in a relationship, but deep down you really don’t want to be hurt again, right? Oops! A hiccup. (Isn’t it funny that there are no available men or women left in your entire city? Where’d they all go?)

Or perhaps you’ve worked hard for that promotion, and you really, really, really want it. But it’s probably going to mean you’re going to have to give up your weekends. Oops! A hiccup. Someone else gets the promotion and you mope for weeks wondering why you weren’t chosen when you know you deserved it more than that other person.

The Hiccup of Hesitation is that milli-pause, unlike menopause, where some form of an underlying fear sabotages our ability to get what it is we say we want to create.

It’s easy to point to the actions of other people and to the outer circumstances of our lives and affix blame, but truthfully, it is our own hiccup of hesitation that is holding us back.

So, how do you “cure” this hiccup? Begin by noticing it. Notice what you say you want and then notice how you feel about what it is you say you want. If you experience a fearful little hiccup, get some help to do some inner healing. You can also play the dragon game. Get the feeling of “going for it” without hesitation in your body.

You can create your dream. Just put on your dragon suit and take off a shoe; the treasure is always in your own hands.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Randy Peyser is the CEO of Author One Stop.   www.AuthorOneStop.com She helps people find literary agents and publishers and edits and ghostwrites books. She is the author of Crappy to Happy and The Power of Miracle Thinking.

Strengthen Relationships – Make Every Connection Count – Bonnie Ross-Parker

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brp portraitUncovering special people is a skill worth developing.
Special people exist everywhere.

I’ve been and continue to be a networking ‘junkie’.  Networking is in my blood right along with oxygen.  I’m addicted! I love the anticipation of meeting new people, uncovering new talent and the satisfaction of introducing people to others they need to meet!  For me, networking is like a walk on the beach – you simply never know the outcome of any encounter – no different than finding one special shell that stands out from the rest because of its size, its beauty or uniqueness. You pick it up, hold it in your hand and take it with you.  Uncovering special people is a skill worth developing.  Special people exist everywhere.

What I’ve frequently discovered during networking experiences, however, is how quickly someone can dismiss another person because they don’t look beyond the surface of the individual to what is unseen. How can anyone know the talent one has, the resource someone can offer, the opportunity that a connection can generate if a quick glance is all that is offered?  Only through a conversation, an exchange of ideas and a door open to possibilities can anyone really know the value one individual can offer to the life of another.  That’s why I adhere to the mantra: Make Every Connection Count!

There’s no magic, no special skills or strategy to make this happen.  You simply treat everyone you meet with a smile, with acknowledgement and respect.  You express appreciation to the clerk who tenders your order at the supermarket, the teller who handles your bank transaction, the postal employee who delivers your mail, the clerk who hands you your clean laundry and anyone else who serves or impacts you in some way.  Replace ‘Thank you” with “I appreciate you.”  Get in the habit of expressing this anytime you can under any circumstance and you will soon discover that making every connection count becomes natural and joyful.  Someone holds the door open for you?  “I appreciate you did that for me!”  Someone does you a favor?  Express appreciation.  Make acknowledgement a habit.

Once I got in the swing of going the extra mile to bring value to even casual connections, I stepped up my game in the networking arena.  I don’t let any opportunity pass me by to make connections count.  Others will say, make a good impression.  I translate that to “Leave indelible positive imprints everywhere you go and in everything you do.”  You never know where a positive connection can lead.  You never know the difference you can make in someone’s life or the difference someone can make in your life.  You never know!  I had a casual conversation with a young woman I met at a chamber of commerce “After Hours” that ultimately led to a speaking engagement in Germany!  Not long ago, I met a business coach at a networking event and introduced him to an amazing woman who was developing an innovative training program.  They became partners!  You might be thinking, “Will I ever get rewarded for having a generous spirit?”  My answer is “Yes”.   The rule is simple.  Make every connection count.  Let others sing your praises and be raving fans.  Do what you do out of integrity and you will experience rewards for your efforts.  Sometimes, acknowledgement comes from an unexpected source, a circumstance you’ve long forgotten or because you gave someone your full attention.  Meet people.  Engage in conversations.  Make introductions.  Be a great listener.  Offer resources to add value to the relationships you wish to develop.  Again, Make every connection count.  You NEVER know where a connection will lead.  Make effective connecting a priority in 2014.  You’ll be glad you did and so will others.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Bonnie Ross-Parker, a.k.a. “America’s Connection Diva”, is a multi-dimensional businesswomen/entrepreneur with a background in education, franchise development, publishing, mentorship, network marketing, and community development.  She combines vision with a unique set of skills.  Formerly the Associate Publisher of The Gazette Newspaper/Atlanta, she focuses her energies on supporting women. Bonnie is a graduate of George Washington University, & earned a Certification in Network Marketing at the University of Chicago.  Several of her articles on owning one’s own business and entrepreneurship have appeared in publications including: Wealth Building, Home Business Magazine, Business to Business and Entrepreneur’s Business Start-Ups.

In 2002 Bonnie received The Athena Award ~ an honor designed to acknowledge women of leadership in cities throughout the United States.  In September, 2005 she was honored by the Women’s Leadership Exchange, a New York based organization, as an Influential Woman of Georgia and currently serves on their Atlanta Advisory Board.  Bonnie is a featured speaker with the Direct Selling Women’s Alliance.  In May of that same year, Bonnie was honored by The International Toastmaster’s Organization of Georgia with their annual Communication & Leadership Award.  In May, 2010, Bonnie was recognized as a distinguished business woman – part of the Princess Diana Tour/Atlanta.  In October of the same year, she was honored by People you need to know Magazine’s Business Superstar Awards Breakfast for her contribution as an entrepreneur. Career Magazine (California) featured Bonnie as their cover story “Branding Your Vision” November/December 2010 issue. OSBO, Organization Supporting Business Owners recognized Bonnie for her Entrepreneurship in May, 2011 at their 9th anniversary celebration along with our distinguished Atlanta recipients.

Bonnie is the author of  “Walk In My Boots” ~ The Joy of Connecting,  Y.O.U. Set A High Standard for Being Human and 42 Rules for Effective Connections.   In 2002, Bonnie licensed The Joy of Connecting™ gatherings for women. After a decade of supporting women, JOC has enhanced its program – now called Xperience Connections.  It’s mission is to encourage and facilitate the growth, performance and integrity of professional women by creating opportunities to foster relationships through a creative exchange of information and referrals.  Xperience Connections is expanding nationwide.  Bonnie lives in Atlanta with her husband, Phil, who is also a professional speaker/author.  

Bonnie Ross-Parker
CEO/Founder

770-333-7923 (Atlanta)
Xperience Connections
www.XperienceConnections.com
Bootgirl@XperienceConnections.com

From Chick Singer to Boss Lady – by Pamela Rose

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me new headshot“Here, can you make us dinner out of this?”  Bobby, the blond keyboardist from the rock band I had just joined, handed me a grocery bag with a whole chicken, a box of spaghetti and a few dejected looking vegetables in it.  I was a little taken aback  – but as a 20 year old wanna-be singer, I just accepted the grocery bag and went to work in the kitchenette while the band started their rehearsal in the living room.   ‘Chick Singer’  was the actual title I had just accrued.  And honestly, chick singer was what I thought of myself back in 1979 – I was the gal with the voice and the tambourine and the dress.

It took me a few years to sort out what the rest of my talents were – agent, human resource manager, bookkeeper, arranger, song-writer and, most important:  Band Leader.

The role of women in music has thankfully gone through a fundamental change in the past 35 years.   We are seeing a stream of extremely talented young women show up on classical, pop, rock and jazz bandstands.   I know that every time a sax or guitar phenom answers the supreme unspoken question from the guys in the band  “it’s cool that she’s a woman, but can she play?” by PLAYING with fire and brilliance – we are changing minds and hearts about women and music from within.

I tour regularly with a show I’ve written about the history of women in jazz and blues “Wild Women of Song: Great Gal Composers of the Jazz Era” and I do love getting a chance to alter the cultural memory of the role women played in the creation of American popular music.

But when I was asked to submit something to this Scrappy Women blog – I knew I wanted to address this ‘chick singer’ part of my own musical journey. As I’m reading the entries in this website, I am hoping that some of my experiences might be useful to these smart business babes!

I’ll tell you a secret:  most singers, not just women, understand very little of what musical information the band is hoping to get from the musicians they work with.   The term ‘chick singer’ has come to mean a lot of negative things to a band – the singer who is often uninformed, or arrogant, assuming the band will just back them up and then fuming when the poor musicians don’t devine what he or she had in mind.  There’s a terrible joke:  Q: “How can you tell when a chick singer is at the door?”  A:  “She can’t find the key and has no idea how to enter”.   With a sigh, I must admit that was probably true of me in my earliest days of singing.  And conversely, I was often frustrated that the band didn’t seem to be paying attention to my own attempts to direct an arrangement or tempo or ending.

I began to watch very closely just how the instrumentalists were able to convey what they wanted from their band mates.  There were many subtle gestures and cues, almost a code, which I made my business to learn.  I took aside band members and asked for their guidance.  And I began to pay attention to each musician’s  unique ability, and how to also be aware of what might be their own weaknesses.  I learned how to put my bands in the best possible light where each moment on stage made us all feel the way artists like to feel:  confident but not complacent, informed yet supremely free to create within the framework which I have explained in just a few words.

I do think that one of the most fun things about my job is not just being the vocalist (although of course I love to sing) but being the Band Leader.  Just this New Year’s I walked onto a stage of mostly unknown to me musicians who, due to  the sudden illness of their usual vocalist and bandleader, needed me to call off 2 ½ hrs of straight dance music, without any rehearsal or set list.  I was grateful for my many years of professional experience – for those years spent learning the code, and for the confidence I felt from the band once they heard my first words (“okay this is a 12 bar blues in E, we’ll take it from the five chord, shuffle groove, one, two, one two three four!) and of course, for all those happy folks packed onto the dance floor all night long.

Not accepting the labels handed to us as women in any business, learning our trade, paying close attention to the needs and abilities of our team – isn’t that what Scrappy Women do?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Pamela Rose is a Bay Area vocalist, bandleader and educator.  Her 6 CD’s are available on Amazon and CDBaby.com and when she is not touring nationally with her show Wild Women of Song: Great Gal Composers of the Jazz Era  her Bay Area performance schedule can be found by going to www.pamelarose.com

Becoming a Successful Business Diva Takes Skill by Shanna Webb

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2013-12-20 Shanna Webb pic1Quote: “You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”-John Lennon

Becoming a successful business diva takes skill. It is a mind-set and it is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

When I started my public relations agency Webb & Associates more than five years ago I had exactly $250.00, just enough to get my business license. My mind-set became one of, ‘I better be successful or I will be sitting out on the corner with a plastic cup begging for change.’ Well, that wasn’t an option for this diva. And with the average American woman earning 70 cents to every dollar a man makes I knew I was going to have to work hard.

So I’m going to give you some tips to help you become the business diva you deserve to be.

1. Knock down doors – The very first client I got was an automobile dealership. I gained there business simply by walking in and handing the general manager a brochure about my services. Don’t be afraid to go out and canvas for business. And certainly don’t be fearful of meeting new people.

2. Talk a good game – My first client called me up and asked me if I could film some commercials for the dealership. I had never produced/edited a professional commercial before. But he didn’t know that. Luckily, I had friends who knew how to do this work. If you don’t know how to do it turn to your network of business associates and friends who can help you.

3. No one can wear your skirt – In order to become diva-lious you have to remember you are an original. There may be many businesses out there that do the same thing, but you have something no one else can offer. Find that one thing and capitalize on it.

4. Get paid what you are worth – A lot of times we have this false belief that customers buy price. This isn’t true and every luxury item sold whether it is cars, jewelry, or real estate proves that point. Don’t under bid a job or service, but be careful not to price yourself out of the stratosphere. Know your worth.

5. Don’t cherry pick – Every customer is a potential client and or sale. You can never judge a book by its cover. Assuming always makes an ass out of you and me.

6. Keep your finances tight – The biggest issue a businessperson will experience is money. Sometimes it rains down money and other times there will be droughts. It is important to plan. Stay out of debt and don’t buy it unless you can afford it.

7. Follow your brave heart – You can meet with business mentor organizations and talk to other businesses owners; however you are ultimately the captain of your yacht. The comfort is when you follow your heart you know you always made the right decision.

8. Dress for success – This is especially important in sales. I’m not saying run out and buy a Hermes bag or a Mercedes, just look professional and wear the proper business attire. When people dress for success they have a successful perception and attitude that shines through.

9. Avoid the crap-out crew – There are going to be people in your business and personal life who are just negative. These people are mentally destructive and total buzz-killers. Limit your time with these people and be aware when they mount their pity pony they want you to join them for the ride. Just say no to negativity.

10. Roll honest – Be honest with your clients and do good business and good business will come to you through referrals or ongoing sales. Roll honestly and you will always have excellent karma.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Shanna Webb, is a scrappy business woman and CEO of Webb & Associates Public Relations. As a veteran of the USAF, Ms. Webb is tough and determined. She believes in taking risks and in her abilities as a smart, sassy scrappy chick to teach other woman how to become scrappy!!

MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME THE F WORD By Patti Fletcher

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patti-headshot-199x300This article was originally published on www.PSDNetwork.com and is published here with permission from the author Patti Fletcher.

Get your mind out of the gutter. The F word I am talking about is feminism. My mother is a feminist, but I am not sure she knows it. She will after she reads this article. And my father, well, the same goes for him: feminist. My father might be most shocked to learn that not only is he a feminist, but he also raised me to be one.

 

Heck, I didn’t know I was a feminist until a few years ago. It won’t be hard to imagine the shock at my claim. My father is the last person who might come to mind when the word “feminist” is spoken. I remember him responding to the topic of feminism when I was younger with gems like “if women want equal rights, then they can open their own damn doors.”  Awesome.

Resurgence of feminism

From the recent NYT article, The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In, to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In mania, to outrage at women breadwinners, to entire HBR’s dedicated to the phenomenon of women in power (honestly, I could go on and on), the resurgence of feminism seems to be everywhere.

I have had far too many arguments with people about what being a feminist is or is not. I don’t want to have another one. So, let me set the record straight with this nice narrative from the author of Wonder Woman, Debora Spar:

“Feminism wasn’t supposed to make us miserable. 
It was supposed to make us free;
the challenge lies in recognizing that having choices carries the responsibility to make them wisely,
striving not for perfection or the ephemeral all,
but for lives and loves that matter.”

Freedom + opportunity = feminism

My father is a veteran. He retired after 25 years, serving in most branches of the US Military. My sisters and I never took our country’s freedom for granted. My father taught me that freedom is gained from hard fought wars. Freedom is earned, often with bloodshed, and should never be taken for granted.

My mother was raised by immigrant parents. Her father ruled the roost. Men held the power and women followed the rules. Men were free. Women were not. My mother didn’t agree with that mentality. She went to business school and trained to be a bookkeeper.

My mother was a working mother before working mothers were a phenomenon. I remember hearing one of my aunts say that my mother worked because she had to work. Even at a young age I knew that wasn’t true. My mother worked because she wanted to work. Working outside of her home gave her access and freedom.

How the F word manifests in my life

Being a feminist does not mean that I don’t want my husband to open the occasional door for me. And, at work, it doesn’t mean that I would advocate hiring a less-qualified woman over a more qualified man. The implication of feminism is freedom through equal access to opportunities. Not more freedom or more access. Not better freedom or better access. Equal freedom and equal access.

Simply put, feminism is freedom through equal access to opportunities.

Whether they realized it or not, my parents showed me that freedom is something that I need to fight for and cherish. Freedom gives me choices. And access gives me the ability to make choices that make a difference. With my parents as my examples and my earliest personal champions, I learned how to fight for and earn equal freedom for myself and now for others.

I want my daughters to know the F word

I learned 10 life lessons from watching and listening to my parents. These are the lessons that have made me the feminist I am today. All 10 combined have leveled the playing field for me to make great choices; choices that have given me the freedom and access I need to pursue my dreams. These are the lessons I hope to intentionally pass onto my daughters, who take their own feminism for granted.

1.   Get a good education inside and outside of the classroom.

2.   Always have the ability to earn your own money.

3.   Always have a bank account in your own name.

4.   You will only get out of something what you put into it.

5.   Never ever quit.

6.   Ask questions even when others do not.

7.   Question people in authority.

8.   Do not look to others to define you.

9.   Accept who you are and what makes you tick.

10. Expect and demand a lot from your life.

I want my daughters to know the road my mother and I travelled on our own paths to feminism.

But, mostly, my wish for them is to live feminism through their freedom to make choices based on the equal access they have to opportunities.

Got a comment on this article? Connect with Patti Fletcher at @pkfletcher.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Patti Fletcher is Co-Founder and CEO of PSDNetwork, LLC. PSDNetwork, LLC is committed to being the first place women turn to make startup, leadership and management decisions. Patti has 15 years experience in applications, big data, and technology with global corporations and helps people and organizations transform “what’s next” into reality. 

 

Women, Careers and Risk: Lessons from the Improv Comedy Stage by Kathy Klotz-Guest

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Kathy Klotz-Guest head shot pic1Research today illustrates that on average women do not take the same career risks that men do. Why? The reasons are complex but they all point back to a very important subject – how women perceive, manage, and act on risk. Despite gender differences, however, the fact is that anyone can increase the confidence required for smart risk-taking.

As a marketer and business owner, I’ve seen women take far fewer risks in the workplace. I’ve also seen that same fear of failure mirrored in my almost 20 years doing comedy. I’ve seen women come and go – quitting before they reached the prize of confidence, acceptance and the ability to take risks and handle failure. The ability to take risks and to see failure as learning are critical for career growth, innovation, and yes, for comedic success.

Today, I perform regularly with a group where the percent of women ranges anywhere from 10% to 25%. At one time, in a group of 14 players, I was the only woman. My stand-up days were more polarized; I’d often be 1 of 2 women on open-mic nights out of a lineup up of over 15 comics. The good news is I think the gender ratio is changing, at least in improv. In my experience, there are more women in improvisation than in stand-up comedy.

While I am sure there are many social and cultural (as well as family) reasons that contribute to this situation (and because many women aren’t nurtured to think they are funny), I also know the rewards that come from improvisation. Improv isn’t just about being funny. It’s so much more than that: it strengthens our ability to make choices, to take risks, and to trust our gut because it increases confidence. These are the same qualities that have facilitated some bold and successful career moves in my life. No guts, no glory – of course, women don’t have to bet the farm to succeed. They just need to reach beyond where they “think” they are just capable enough. That’s what men do. Statistically, men fail more, and they also succeed more. That’s because they take “bigger” chances where the downside isn’t all that bad, and the upside is substantial.

The bottom line is that “risk” matters, especially in careers and comedy. This lack of bigger “game” risk-taking has longer-term economic implications for women and explains, in part, the gender wage-gap that still exists today (about 21% for equal work according to the Department of Labor). Yes, women are more likely to take time out from the workforce to have and raise children than their male counterparts, and this accounts for some of the gap. However, research also tells us that women are also less likely to take risks in negotiating pay, better benefits, and promotions, and in taking “risky” projects that also come with high visibility in the organization. In the end, less risk-taking in a woman’s career leads to a lifetime wage and career gap estimated to be greater than $500,000. And more than money, it means too many women are ‘settling’ for careers that don’t match their potential or desire.

Women and Risk-Taking

In his book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell explores the concept of 10,000 hours: it takes approximately 10,000 hours of practice and experience to reach virtuoso status in an area of expertise – music, software programming, painting, innovating, and comedy. Of course, part of those 10,000 hours will involve failing if you are doing it right. You can’t achieve expert status without trying, failing, taking risks, and learning from those choices. There are also various degrees of risk and it’s important for women to recognize that many of these choices involve “recoverable” risk where no one is hurt, besides maybe a bruised ego here and there.

Research also points out that men and women, on average, deal with and process failure in different ways. Men, for instance, on average look at failure not as a personal flaw, but rather, as a situation outside themselves that just didn’t work out. You win some, you lose some, you move on. Conversely, women are more likely (on average – yes there are individual differences) to personalize failure and view it through the lens of some shortcoming on their end.

Whether it is comedy or career, the same risk-taking is needed to grow to the next level. Just as men take bigger career risks, they also tend to take more chances in comedy. That begs the question – what can women be doing to strengthen their ability to take measured risks and to see failure as learning rather than personalizing it? Moreover, “failure” isn’t bad – it’s part of growth. You are expected and encouraged to fail or you’re not trying hard enough.

Of course, some of this difference between the genders can be explained by physiology. Men are wired to take more risks because they have traditionally been the “hunters.” Yet, the good news is that much of this difference has to do with skills and behaviors that can be learned.

The “Yes, and!” Concept

One of the best ways for people to learn to trust their instincts, take small risks that lead successfully to bigger ones, and learn to see failure as learning is through improvisation. Improvisation is based on a positive framing – “Yes, and!” mentality that accepts offers from others, builds on other suggestions, allows people to stay focused on the present and to fail good-naturedly with small risks. Improvisation strengthens decision-making skills by making it OK to fail. You have to fail to know what works! Without the risk-taking, there is no success.

Improvisation creates a safe environment where failure is encouraged because it means you are taking changes, pushing the envelope and exploring to see what works. Over time, your instincts are strengthened and risk-taking becomes less scary. There are no “wrong” answers in improvisation; there are many choices and alternatives. Improvisation strengthens our ability to react to the situation at hand – to respond with our own solid choices that accept and add (the “Yes, and!”) on to “offers” presented to us by others. Little risks (with low stakes) taken over time lead us to make bolder and bigger choices as we grow in our confidence. This permeates others aspects of our lives including our careers.

While improvisation won’t change the overall salary gap or underrepresentation on corporate boards or the C-suite over night, it will strengthen women’s confidence in their own choices, in their risk-taking and will help them learn that “failure” is not personal. Nor is it something to be feared. It happens, you learn and grow from it, and you move on. And sometimes you get it just right, and get a “win.” Like when you negotiate for better pay or a more visible position. And it’s those little individual wins that, in aggregate, will lead to real change.

After all, ladies, we’ve got nothing to lose by trying. It’s the high cost of failing to take smart risks – the lack of pay equity and loss of bigger careers – that we should fear.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Kathy Klotz-Guest, A marketer and storyteller, helps clients tell compelling stories that get results. The founder of marketing strategy and communications firm, Keeping it Human, she also performs improvisational comedy and kicks jargon’s butt.
Email: kathy@keepingithuman.com.

The Female Entrepreneur – Unstoppable Passion By Bonnie Ross-Parker

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brp portraitWho is this woman?  She is empowered, enlightened and enterprising.  She exudes energy, enthusiasm and confidence.  She has chosen to embark on a journey and create a mission only she can fulfill.  The female entrepreneur is a risk taker.  She connects.  She collaborates and she gives back and she will not be denied.  She deserves success and takes pride in her accomplishments.  She knows that her gifts matter and strongly believes in her journey.  This strong willed, focused woman must live her destiny by sharing her talents with the world.  She sets the standard of excellence in all that she does and in all that she is.  She endures even under the toughest of challenges and naysayers.

The female entrepreneur is unstoppable.  She does it all.  She creates.  She markets.  She promotes.  She shares resources.  She supports other likeminded individuals with her ideas, her time and knowledge.  It requires courage to be an entrepreneurial woman in today’s marketplace.  There’s no fall back.  No guaranteed pay check.  No employee benefits.  No paid vacations.  It’s you, your products and/or services that are vying for consumers in an already established economic environment.  This individual possesses the fortitude to differentiate herself from everyone else by finding a unique way to be memorable.

When I decided to leave the teaching profession after 12 years in the classroom, I was ready to pursue what at that time was a dream to become an entrepreneur.  That was over 30 years ago!  I bought a franchise.  Everyone thought I was crazy.  A typical comment was, “How can you give up your career, vacations, benefits, etc. to owning a retail business?  You’ll have to work year round including weekends!”  No one and nothing could persuade me.  It was time and I as ready.  I was determined.  I was tired of someone else directing my life.  I wanted control even if that meant long hours, hard work and an unknown future.  Twelve years later I owned 6 franchises and became the company’s Regional Director with responsibility to oversee 22 other stores.

I look back on those years with huge satisfaction.  I went from school teacher to entrepreneur.  I went from a single, dependable pay check to multiple streams of income.  I proved to myself and those who doubted my unstoppable determination that I could meet the challenges and survive.

I know firsthand what it takes to break away and go out on one’s own.  I know the amount of faith it requires.  I also know the rewards that come from doing what you really want to do even if that requires following unfamiliar roads to travel an uncertain journey.  The female entrepreneur is doing better than surviving.  She’s thriving.  She’s unique.  She’s a gift.  She’s a person who endures.  It serves us all to pay attention to and support her economically.  She takes her tasks seriously, often over delivers and shows us what is possible by her example.  If you are a female entrepreneur, congratulations.  If you are considering ‘stepping out on your own’, go for it.  When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. Be unstoppable.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Bonnie Ross-Parker, America’s Connection Diva, is a high energy, enthusiastic, successful businesswoman and solo-entrepreneur. She is a speaker and author who is passionate about teaching individuals how to step up their game in any networking situation.
Visit her website: www.BonnieRossParker.com
Join the community: http://xperienceconnections.com/join-our-community/become-xc-leader/

We Move Forward By Janeen Halliwell

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WMF 2012 Janeen & FloraThere are milestones that we, as women, share.  We can collectively roll our eyes, laugh or cry at the memory of buying a first bra, going on a first date, having a first kiss, getting married (or not), deciding whether to have kids (or not), and being a mom, a single mom, or stepmom.  We’ve all faced decisions about whether to work our way up the ladder, further our education, step out and start our own business or to take a different route altogether.  Eventually we all change roles as we go from daughter to caregiver, supporting our ageing parents and eventually letting go once they are gone.  After each of these milestones is reached, we are faced with the same question – “What is next?”  The answer lies in taking stock of your ‘You Are Here’ location on your life’s journey, and being mindful of the direction you want to head next.  And then you move forward.

With Every Ending There is a New Beginning

At 48, I’ve done my share of moving forward.  I’ve held the titles of student, wife, divorcee, wife again, and stepmom. I’ve owned businesses, completed a graduate degree, worked on four continents, travelled to 33 countries and sailed 9000 sea miles.  I’ve worked hard and truly lived.  But even with all those experiences under my belt, I was not prepared for how difficult it would be to move forward when I lost my father to pancreatic cancer. The grieving stopped me in my tracks.

In the summer of 2010, my father was failing. After a heartbreaking visit to his doctor where he was told, “Scotty you are dying,” I witnessed hope fade from my dad’s eyes and leave his frail body. I put my work as a consultant and trainer on hold and moved in with my parents.  A visit to Victoria Hospice followed, at which time the inevitable became our reality. My dad moved in a few days later.  And, at 1 a.m. on July 26, 2010, he breathed his last breath, with me and my mother holding him as tightly as we could.

The months that followed were rough.  My mother went to Isla Mujeres, the Island of Women, Mexico, to heal, as it is known for its magical qualities that mend people’s souls.  I visited my mother there in March 2011. I was still grieving and finding every day to be difficult.  It was during this trip that I had a vision: I will host an International Women’s Day conference and celebration on the Island of Women!  It was time to take on a project that would ignite my soul, and that had an element risk, as risk-taking is something I espouse through my work.  The conference needed a name.  I called it We Move Forward because the 3-days were about women re-energizing all that makes them whole, body, mind, and soul, and steering their life in the direction of their passion and purpose.

It would be different from other women’s conferences.  Inspirational speakers would go far beyond just giving a canned talk and then leaving, they would participate in the full 3 days.  Group discussions and activities would have women shifting inspiration into action.  We Move Forward would create positive change and it would include local women through sponsorship.

Believe and Create

I felt passionate about my vision, and set out to create it.  I had a snazzy website developed,  booked a conference space, and approached potential sponsors. I got on a bus in Mexico and visited international women’s clubs in Cancun and Merida, encouraging women to join me on ‘Isla’ in March 2012.  I made my voice heard on television, radio and social media.

I had never taken on something so big and so full of promises – promises of inspirational speakers, promises to pay these speakers, and promises of an experience of a lifetime to registrants – that is, if there were registrants.

You see, registrations didn’t take off as I had hoped.  They trickled in.  Consequently, some of the people who were eager at the beginning of the project began to lose interest.  Many dropped off.  It didn’t look like a money maker after-all.  I crawled forward.

The Show Must Go On!

In January 2012, I sat down with my registration sheet that contained 21 names, my project plan and calculator.  I needed 63 registrants to pay for my promises.  If 45 women registered, I would lose money, but still be able to run the conference.  But at 21, I was deep in the hole.  Do I quit or do I move forward, I asked myself?

I reflected on why I wanted to see We Move Forward happen, and the scrapper in me pulled herself up by the bootstraps and took a broad step forward. And, on March 8, 2012, 81 women gathered on Isla Mujeres to celebrate International Women’s Day.  The 3-day conference surpassed everyone’s expectations with women calling it “crazy amazing”, “life-changing”, and “a MUST for all women.”

I am thrilled to say that We Move Forward is heading into its 3rd year.  The WMF community continues to grow in numbers, with many women returning again and again.  The WMF experience continues to propel women in one direction – forward.  From March 7-9, 2014 women will celebrate their accomplishments and how they have moved up, over and around life’s challenges, in the company of women just like them – ordinary women that are capable of extraordinary things.  That is the essence of We Move Forward. www.wemoveforward.com

Quote: 
“We are all ordinary women that are capable of extraordinary things.  Taking time out to get clear on our desired future brings us closer to experiencing it.  Surrounding ourselves with like-minded & hearted women is the perfect environment to build our confidence to take our next step forward.  Believe in yourself and pay attention to those who believe in you too.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Janeen Halliwell, Founder & Director, We Move Forward, Island of Women, Mexico and Principal, Consultant & Trainer, People Minded Business Inc.

Website: www.wemoveforward.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/WeMoveForward
Twitter: @janeenhalliwell