Tag Archives: work-life-balance

How to Tap Into the Need for Work-Life Balance

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Enjoy this guest post, written by Avery Phillips. – Kimberly

Phones and laptops make us constantly available to work. This makes it easy to lose the clock-off time of 5 p.m. and find yourself working long into the nights and weekends. When your work-life balance gets off-kilter, you lose many valuable things, including your time, attention, and maybe even your health.

Overworking is known to lead to mistakes, stress, and overall deterioration of your wellness. In this article, we’re going to talk about the struggles to maintain a healthy work-life balance while balancing family and personal needs. We’ll also cover what you can do about it.Continue reading→

The Price of Leaning In by Natascha Thomson

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Natascha and 2 friends 2013_9_12A Review of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.

“I am surprised how often we don’t ask the most basic questions – what do we want, what do we have to do to get it, and can we pay the price – in marriages, families and the workplace.” ~ Marc Lesser in Know Yourself, Forget Yourself

Personally, I find it extremely encouraging that the discussion about emancipation has restarted and is getting significant publicity. Partially, this is thanks to accomplished women like Sheryl Sandberg who have thrown their heads into the ring with books like Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.

Interestingly, when I ask female friends if they have read Lean In, many of them respond that they don’t think they “need it”. They feel that they have things under control, are already strong, and can make it on their own. If this is true, why are less than 20% of women in leadership positions in Silicon Valley?

While I would consider myself a strong woman, I took away many good insights from the book, including tips on how to negotiate my salary, how to avoid blind spots as a manager, and why it is so important to lean in as a woman.  But I also enjoyed the tales about the early days at Google and the present day at Facebook.

While the book is, no doubt, also a PR vehicle for Ms. Sandberg, she appears to open up for the sake of giving other women courage. She confesses that she still sometimes feels like an impostor at work, worried that she might fail. Many women can relate to this feeling and might be surprised to hear that somebody at the top is not immune to it. The message here is: push through your fear. Or as they say “if it’s not scary it’s not brave”.

How has the discussion changed?

In the past, discussions about women’s equality often focused on what women did NOT have and how men were holding them back. This made the only obvious solution that men had to change.

In this new wave of women’s lib, the discussion has a stronger focus on what women CAN do to overcome the current inequality; what steps women CAN take to get what they want and deserve, despite existing obstacles.

Societal expectations

Lean In, the much-discussed book by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, is a brave and educated contribution to the gender equality discussion.  Ms. Sandberg has been most faulted by critics for focusing on well-educated women with high ambitions as opposed to women from all walks of life.  As her book fits into the genre of management and career advice, it’s not clear to me why she would be expected to write a book about society at large.

Yet, Ms. Sandberg, herself, preempts this criticism, in the chapter where she talks about the fact that women are expected to act “communal”, i.e. in the interest of all women and society, while the same expectation doesn’t generally exist for men.

She provides an intriguing example of a societal double standard for women from her time as a student at Harvard. When reviewing an HBR case study, half the class was made to believe the key player in the study was male, while half the class was told the protagonist was female.

The result was telling:  when the protagonist of the study was assumed to be male, he was commanded for his behavior. When the students assumed it was a woman, they disliked her and disapproved of many of her actions.

The career penalty

Ms. Sandberg makes the bold statement that the most important career choice for a woman is picking the right husband (or partner). Will the partner share housework, childcare, elderly care, and all other chores of daily life?  Having a job and children is a balancing act at the best of times, but staying at home, Ms. Sandberg says, carries a high career penalty. It can be difficult to get back into the game, and limit a woman’s ability to climb the corporate ladder.

Consequently, Ms. Sandberg advises women who are planning a family NOT to scale back too soon and NOT to tame their ambitions. Her rational is, that if women don’t pursue promotions or better job opportunities while they are getting ready for a life with children, the career penalty will be compounded.

Not only do many women get punished for taking a child break, says Ms. Sandberg, many already compromise their professional future even before they have to take time out, by cutting back prematurely. She recommends going as far as you can before the break.

Different comfort levels

I have discussed this advice with two career women who are planning to have children soon and only one of them agreed. The other, while she did not like her current job and saw no path for advancement, felt that she had “earned her stripes” at the company. Consequently, she would be able to juggle work and being a mom much more easily than if she had to prove herself all over again in a new environment.

Can we pay the price?

In conclusion, I enjoyed the book tremendously and recommend it highly. Yet, something about it does not sit well with me.

While Ms. Sandberg writes extensively about how she and her husband have created a supportive relationship where they share all responsibilities of daily life – and she freely admits that her resources afford her luxuries like housekeeping and child care that others might not have – something is missing.

Is this the message of the book?

To be a successful woman in corporate America, you have to give up time with your husband and time to take care of yourself?

Living in Silicon Valley, I see the rat race every day. Many people are asked to prioritize work over their private lives, while research clearly shows that human beings need breaks and diversions to achieve their full potential and creativity.

Ms. Sandberg is very clear in her book that she is not judging individual choices and  believes that every woman needs to decide for herself if she wants to be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman.

I want to be a high-achieving career woman who has a stimulating job that makes an impact and also have enough time to stay healthy and socialize. Some people tell me this is a pipe dream. I don’t want to believe it.

What price are you willing to pay?

ABOUT the AUTHOR: Natascha Thomson is the Owner & Founder of MarketingXLerator – a B2B Social Media Marketing Consultancy – with a focus on using social media to connect people for business impact. She is also a co-author of the book 42 Rules for B2B Social Media Marketing.

Wanted: The Job That Doesn’t Feel Like a Job by Irene Waltz

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Irene Waltz

Ever since I started in the working world, I’ve had this notion of finding my “dream job”. Even before there was any talk of work-life-balance, I was dreaming of a job that I would love so much that I would never care if it was work or free time.

Most people back then called me crazy and said that job didn’t exist if I weren’t an artist, which I am most definitely not.

Some are lucky enough to know early on what they want to do. Not me. There was so much I wanted to try, I never thought I could focus on just one thing. When I went to college, I studied languages, business & cultural studies. There was no clear career path to follow, so I had to find my own way.

Over the years, I have tried lots of things, employed on my own: managed a language school, built the Berlin office of a Swedish internet startup, taught Russian immigrants computer skills, worked as a business and financial translator, built websites with WordPress, did sales cold-calling and managed large marketing projects.

In the end, I found that I’d have to invent the job that would fit me.

Over the years, I have picked up a lot of sales and marketing skills, and that is what I’m selling today. I’m a hand-on marketer and marketing coach helping entrepreneurs win clients in new markets, especially in Germany, of course. My aim is to get things up and running and to help my clients become better marketers themselves.

I also speak about marketing, and managing workshops and seminars.

To be honest, I don’t care too much about the latest fads in marketing techniques (although I do want to know how they work). Rather, I’m interested in helping cool people who love what they do enjoy their business even more by working for clients that really get them.

To be taken with care: Advice from others

When my second son was born five years ago, my last employment had just ended. Frustrated up with the restrictions of the corporate world. I set out on my own again, this time in the marketing field. I’d been a freelance translator for a few years before that last corporate gig. This time I wanted to do it right. Build a “real” business.

I read tons of books, every scrap of advice out there on building a business. You know what: I ended up more confused than before. One book said I needed to build systems, and I spent weeks with long lists of things that I never used. Another said I had to decide if I just wanted to build a job for myself or be a “real” entrepreneur. It took me half a year to get passed this.

I always thought: If I can only define my vision and my mission, then everything will be fine, kind of build itself.

But you know what? All this heady stuff just kept me spinning my wheels, looking for answers. For years, I felt bad because I couldn’t come up with a grand, dent-in-the-universe vision like curing malaria or something like that. Yes, I have an idea about my values and what I’d like to do for people and for my family, but a huge vision? Sorry, I don’t have one.

Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you.

I was so focused on this whole passion-doing-what-you-love thing that I completely overlooked one thing: There had been someone right in front of me all this time, doing what he loved, and being very content with it.

He was a college professor for English, a man who grew up in postwar Germany. Coming from a humble family of butchers, he put himself through college with little money and lots of willpower. A very quiet man, not one of those big-shot professors with great acclaim in the academic world. He was not a rich man, but there was enough for his family, his wife and four kids, enough to support his old mother.

Sometimes you’d hear him talking in his study, proclaiming Chaucer’s Canterbury tales aloud with a funny accent. When he passed away, the little church was packed, and there were piles of cards from former students expressing their gratitude. He wasn’t famous, but for the people who knew him, he made a big difference.

That man, of course, was my father.

So I am blessed to have lived with someone who encouraged me to do what I enjoyed, to follow what made me happy; and who led by example. Only now do I realize, it’s not always the grand and loud things that are important or meaningful, but passion can be quiet as well, focused on the little details.

Doing what makes you happy

About a year ago, I found a kind of diary I must have written when I was 17 or so. It said: “I’ll just write. Writing is what makes me happy.” I had completely forgotten about this. Here I was, over 20 years later, and all the writing I did was marketing texts for other people. And a marketing blog that bored me because I filled it with stuff I thought people wanted to hear.

So I set up a fresh blog and started writing. In English, a language I had missed. (I’m German, and my business had been mostly in German lately.) It was much easier than my marketing blog. The texts just started to flow. I don’t think about pleasing anyone with it. I just write. Little observations on life and happiness. I don’t even know if anyone reads it, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s called Irene’s Notes, if you want to take a look.

And there’s another project: Last summer, I discovered the sport of triathlon. I was so enthused that I contacted a small brand of triathlon clothing just for women. And ended up writing their German blog, which is extremely fun.

The thing is, I’m not earning any money to speak of with these activities, but just doing it makes me so happy that my business life is also affected. And from the triathlon blog, I’ve attracted people to my marketing pages, as well.

As for my marketing blog, I started one in English, too at www.irenesmarketing.com. And I started writing about things I care about. I don’t follow all the “how-to-write-great-blogposts” advice, rather, I’m finding my own style. It’s much more fun than ever before!

Trusting myself

When I turned forty last summer, I decided I would not pretend any more to be someone I was not. My company is called “Die Marketinghelfer” or “The Marketinghelpers”. Only, it’s always been just me, and it felt like I was hiding behind the name. So I’m in the process of changing it, putting myself more on the line.

Also, I made a vow never again go against my instincts or do things just because I thought someone wanted me to do them that way. Sometimes, I have to take a closer look and see if it’s just fear holding me back. Often enough, though, my gut is right, even if I can’t explain it rationally.

There is some advice I really did learn from all the business courses: Just think in little projects. Try different things. See what works. See where it gets you and go from there. Without thinking this has to be THE ONE THING.

So really, I’m back to doing what I used to do: Enjoying the adventures of life and business day by day and being open to the opportunities that arise. Who knows where this journey may lead.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Irene Waltz is a hand-on marketing & sales woman, writer, speaker, business translator, a mother of two boys, and probably Germany’s slowest triathlete. Based in Berlin, Germany, Irene helps knowledge-based businesses get clients in new markets, especially in Germany. Follow Irene on Twitter or check out her blog at http://www.irenesmarketing.com